Awakening
by Flamebyrd
Summary: A Tokyo Babylon 'What if...' Seishirou wakes up to a few things. Part humour, part romance, part drama. [Revised and now Completed!]
1. Prologue | Of Fate and Destiny

_Revision and rewrite, more like. Anyway, this was originally a part of Yume, my warped Seishirou dream piece, but it got just a little bit too long. It's an alternate universe, although more of a "What if..." in the style of Yume. (Note that I draw on Yume later, so reading it first is recommended.) It's set around book 4-5ish of Tokyo Babylon (before any of the really bad stuff happens.) So, spoilers are effectively up to there, but let's say the entire series just to be safe.   
  
Thanks go to Meia, as usual, for being my unofficial beta whenever I wrote a new section. Also for helping me out whenever I got stuck with characterisation and/or plot points. Oh, and for providing half the dialogue over ICQ semi-roleplaying sessions. Thanks also go to Kouri, Karasu and Kira for pre-reading. (Whee, alliteration.)   
  
Oh, just one more thing: Some of you may already have read this fic on my website. I'd like to point out that I've since revised, rewritten and added to that document. There's new stuff, in other words. But that also means a lot of this is quite old (March this year, according to the date when I first created the file) while other bits are only from the last few months. I hope my style hasn't changed so much as to make that disorienting._  
  
**Prologue**  
  
He was fighting someone. It was another onmyouji, one that had been causing a lot of trouble for the government. So they'd called him in to 'take care' of it. It should have been an easy job, but the onmyouji was waiting for him when he arrived and had 'challenged' him to a duel. Apparently his intended victim thought himself equally matched against the Sakurazukamori.  
  
The sound of running footsteps toward him made him wonder if it was, perhaps, too open an area for this kind of fighting. But his enemy showed no signs of backing down.  
  
A startled gasp of "S-S-Seishirou-san" momentarily caught his attention. The Sumeragi shouldn't be here.  
  
It was that one moment of distraction that caused it. A blast of power from his enemy got him square in the chest, and all he saw was blackness.  
  


~ * ~  
  


**Awakening  
**A Tokyo Babylon 'What if...'  
  
  
**One: Of Fate and Destiny  
**  
He woke in the hospital. The lights were awfully bright and he hurt all over. He reached to the Tree for support.   
  
It wasn't there.   
  
No. That wasn't quite right... It was _there_, but it wasn't responding to him.  
  
"Seishirou-san!" came a familiar voice. "You're awake!"  
  
He turned his head to look at Subaru. The younger onmyouji looked like he hadn't slept in days. "Subaru-kun," he said. His voice sounded hoarse.  
  
"How do you feel?" asked the Sumeragi, sounding concerned.  
  
He considered for a moment. "Like hell," he said, after a bit.  
  
Subaru must have contacted a doctor on his awakening, because the room was suddenly flooded with people in white coats, chatting in the usual medical gibberish.   
  
"Now, Mr. Sakurazuka," said one man, obviously the doctor. "You've been through quite a lot, but I think you're going to be fine."  
  
"Thank you," said Seishirou, faintly. "May I ask... what happened?"  
  
The doctor shrugged. "Your friend here brought you in. He said he didn't know what had happened, but you were seriously injured."  
  
"Was I?"  
  
"Indeed. You were clinically dead for a good ten minutes or so."  
  
So that was why Subaru had been looking so anxious. He was probably blaming himself for having distracted Seishirou during the fight.  
  
Suddenly the meaning of the words hit him. "Dead?" That could explain why the tree wasn't responding to him... If he had died, then...  
  
The doctor was still talking to him. Seishirou realised it was probably in his best interests to listen. "... So we'll be keeping you here at least another week."  
  
A _week_? "_Hai_," he said, meekly.  
  
The doctors and nurses bustled out again, leaving Seishirou alone with Subaru. They sat there in silence for a while. "Where's Hokuto-chan?" asked Seishirou, eventually.  
  
"She's taking care of things at home. We were both very worried about you, Seishirou-san," said Subaru, fervently. "I'm very glad you're okay."  
  
Seishirou smiled. Subaru was so transparent. "I'm very glad I'm all right too," he said.  
  
Subaru wrung his hands nervously. "Seishirou-san..."  
  
Seishirou waited for him to continue.  
  
"When you were unconscious, I... I thought I'd never be able to tell you..." The boy blushed.  
  
"Yes, Subaru-kun?" he said, encouragingly, although he knew full well what the Sumeragi was trying to say.  
  
"I -- I love you, Seishirou-san."  
  
"I know," he said. He should have been pleased. He should have been proud of his achievement, in making this boy fall in love with him. However, as gently as he could, he found himself continuing, "but you're not ready for this, Subaru-kun."  
  
"W-Wh-What? _Seishirou-san_..."  
  
"You were very worried about me and it's forced you into believing something that might not be true," he said, stiffly.  
  
Subaru looked down at the floor. "What's that, Seishirou-san?" he asked, sounding miserable.  
  
Seishirou paused for a moment. He'd been referring to the fact that Subaru was in love with a person that didn't exist. The Head of the Sumeragi clan could hardly be in love with the Sakurazukamori. However, he _wasn't_ the Sakurazukamori any more -- and Subaru didn't know he ever _had _been. Maybe, if he tried, he could become the person Subaru loved? "Subaru..."  
  
The Sakura had demanded Subaru as a victim on their first meeting, but Seishirou had wanted to 'play' a bit. The tree had promptly forgotten about it, but Seishirou hadn't. He wondered, now, if the tree would remember and demand the next Sakurazukamori claim the victim Seishirou hadn't... He doubted it. The tree wasn't intelligent enough to pass on the kind of details the Sakurazukamori would need to identify Subaru without having met him previously.  
  
"It's okay, Seishirou-san. I knew... you weren't serious, before," the Sumeragi was continuing, very quietly.  
  
"I -- Subaru-kun, I didn't mean -- I..." After nearly a lifetime suppressing his emotions, he was having trouble keeping a handle on them. He desperately tried to find a way to apologise to Subaru without slipping up further.  
  
"Yes, Seishirou-san?" said Subaru, politely lifting his gaze to meet Seishirou's. He could see the pain in the wide, green eyes, although the boy was doing his best to suppress his hurt.  
  
He gave up on his dignified persona and sighed. "You're wrong. I love you, Subaru-kun. But... you're still a child." It sounded lame, even to him.  
  
Subaru took a couple of steps closer to him, enough for him to take the older man's hand in his own. "I grew up a lot in this last week," he said, in a tone that was just barely above a whisper. He gently bent over the hospital bed.  
  
For the first time in his life, Seishirou wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. On the one hand, the boy was just that. A boy. Too young to know what love was, surely. On the other, he certainly seemed to _think_ he knew what he wanted...  
  
Seishirou relented, and pulled the Sumeragi close, not caring how much it hurt his abused body. "I'm sorry," he whispered into Subaru's ear, and then they were kissing. Just a light touching of lips to begin with, then Seishirou deepened it and the next thing he knew Subaru was practically in his lap and he was running out of breath.  
  
They both stiffened as the door slammed shut, and then Hokuto's familiar laugh echoed through the room.  
  
Subaru practically flew off the bed and into the chair next to it.  
  
Hokuto stopped laughing. "Sei-chan, I have something to ask you."  
  
"Yes?" he said, smiling.  
  
"Subaru's too polite to ask, so I'm going to have to. Why were _you _fighting that onmyouji?"  
  
Seishirou hesitated. Eventually he decided on just telling the truth. "I was ordered to. By the Government."  
  
"Aha! So you are the Sakurazukamori!" exclaimed Hokuto, grabbing her brother and dragging him behind her protectively. Subaru made a small whimpering noise in protest.  
  
"No," he said, definitely not smiling any more. "I'm not."  
  
"Sei-chan, there's no point in lying now--" began Hokuto.  
  
"I'm not the Sakurazukamori now," he insisted.   
  
"But you were before," said Hokuto, obviously picking up on the phrasing.  
  
He nodded, and lay back on somewhat stiff hospital pillows.   
  
"Why not now?" continued Hokuto, insistently.  
  
"The role of Sakurazukamori is passed on when someone kills the existing Sakurazukamori," said Seishirou, closing his eyes tiredly for a moment.  
  
"And you died," breathed Subaru. His eyes were wide.  
  
"And I doubt the 'curse' has a clause that deals with modern medicine being able to bring the dead back to life!" shrieked Hokuto, bursting into laughter again.  
  
Seishirou groaned softly. His head hurt.  
  
"So you don't have to kill people anymore," continued Hokuto. Seishirou nodded. "Do you want to?"   
  
He shook his head. "No..." he said. He was even telling the truth. "Without the Sakura, I'm just an ordinary onmyouji." Albeit one that was raised to be an assassin - but he wasn't going to say that out loud. He had a chance to take control of his own life now. He intended to take it.  
  
"Great!" she said, bouncing happily. "I've changed my mind," she added, unexpectedly.  
  
"I'm sorry?" said Seishirou.  
  
"You two still have my blessing. Why don't you return to what you were doing when I walked in here?" She skipped out of the room, laughing.  
  
Subaru blushed bright red. Silence returned to the room, rather like the calm after a thunderstorm.  
  
"Subaru," began Seishirou, dropping the honorific. "I'm sorry..."  
  
Subaru was looking at the floor, still standing on the other side of the room. "You were never really who I thought you were, were you, Seishirou-san?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Subaru," he said again.  
  
"So... what were you really doing?" asked Subaru, looking almost afraid to hear Seishirou's answer.  
  
Seishirou looked away. "I was going to kill you," he admitted. "Because I couldn't feel love, and that was the bet we made."  
  
"Bet...?" Subaru shook his head, as if trying to clear it. Seishirou's spell would have dissolved at the moment of his death.  
  
"You remember now, don't you?"  
  
Subaru nodded uncertainly. He looked down at his black-gloved hands, pulling at one of them absently. The occult markings on the boy's scarred hands would have dissolved as well. "You gave me these..." he said.  
  
Seishirou nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  
  
"And you would have had me fall in love with you and then killed me..."  
  
Seishirou nodded again. Subaru might as well know the truth.  
  
"I should hate you for that," said Subaru. "For doing that to me, for lying..." A few tears trickled down his cheeks. "But I can't. I _can't._ I love you..."  
  
"But the person you loved didn't exist, Subaru-kun."  
  
Subaru was crying properly now. "But... You... Are you so different from who I thought you were? Could I love you?"  
  
"I don't know," said Seishirou, honestly. "But I'm real. And now I'm free of the Sakura, I can love you. And... I want to. I think I already do."  
  
Subaru somehow managed to find his way over to the bed and knelt beside it, resting his head on folded arms. He was still crying softly. Seishirou gently ran his fingers through the soft, dark hair. "Can you forgive me, Subaru-kun?"  
  
"Forgive you?" repeated Subaru, wide eyed. "But you didn't do anything..."  
  
"I would have. The Sakurazukamori isn't a nice person, Subaru."  
  
"But you're not the Sakurazukamori, Seishirou-san. You said that yourself," said Subaru in a hurt, somewhat accusing tone.  
  
"Subaru-kun... I think you should go home and get some rest."  
  
"What? _Seishirou_-san..."  
  
"No, you need to think about this, Subaru. Go home. Talk it over with Hokuto-chan if you like. I'll still be here for you in the morning." If you still want me, he added silently.  
  
Subaru stood up shakily. "Alright, Seishirou-san. I'll be back in the morning."  
  
Seishirou nodded, not really believing him.  
  
Subaru looked like he was going to say something else, but he was interrupted by one of the nurses, who informed him that her patient needed his rest and visiting hours were now over. She shooed him out of the room hurriedly.  
  
Seishirou was left alone with only the stark white walls for company. He sighed. If he remembered how to cry, he probably would have been.  
  


~ * ~  


  
"What on earth did Hokuto have to say?" asked Seishirou, in an attempt to hide his surprise when Subaru was admitted into his room the next morning.  
  
Subaru blushed. "Nothing she doesn't usually say."  
  
"And what have you decided to do?" prompted Seishirou, almost dreading the answer.  
  
"I think..." began Subaru, hesitantly.  
  
"Yes?" said Seishirou, when Subaru didn't continue.  
  
"I think I'd like to get to know who the real Seishirou-san is."  
  
Seishirou felt himself break out into a smile and violently squashed the impulse to grab Subaru and hug him like he never meant to let go. "Thank you, Subaru-kun."  
  
Subaru nodded. He grabbed the room's solitary chair and dragged it right next to the bed. "Seishirou-san, will you still be working as a vet?" he asked, curiously.  
  
Seishirou considered it for a moment. "Yes," he decided. "It was good work." And besides, he thought, it would be a way of making up for what I did to the animals when I _was_ the Sakurazukamori. But Subaru didn't have to know that.  
  
"That's great," said Subaru, enthusiastically. "Will you let me help out occasionally?"  
  
Seishirou blinked at him. "Don't you have school during the day?"  
  
"I can still help out after school. Besides," he said, looking sorrowed, "when I have a job, I can't go back to school for the rest of the day."  
  
"Oh," said Seishirou.  
  
"But I'm going to continue going to school anyway, because I want to learn."  
  
Seishirou's newly awakened conscience began berating him for wanting a sixteen year old boy who was not only still at school, but also definitely not mature enough for an adult relationship.  
  
"Speaking of school," said Seishirou, "shouldn't you be there right now?"  
  
"It's Sunday, Seishirou-san."  
  
Seishirou blinked at him. "Subaru-kun, how long was I unconscious for?"  
  
Subaru blushed in what had to be remembered worry. "Four days..."  
  
Four_ days_?! No wonder Subaru had been so concerned.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Y_ou're_ sorry?" exclaimed Subaru, brokenly. "I'm the one who distracted you! If I hadn't been there, you would have been okay! You wouldn't have been... have been..."  
  
"If you hadn't, I would have killed you eventually, Subaru-kun. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have these feelings now. I wouldn't have... That feeling."  
  
"'That' feeling?" repeated Subaru, blinking back tears in a slightly bewildered manner.  
  
"This one," he said, taking Subaru's hand and drawing it close to his heart.  
  
Subaru blushed bright red. "Ohh..." he said, faintly. He leaned forward. "You really mean that?"  
  
Seishirou didn't reply. He just wrapped his arms around the Sumeragi's neck and kissed him, for the second time in two days. He hadn't thought it could feel this good to have it all out in the open. But now he had Subaru in his arms, kissing him deeply and passionately, and it felt - right. This was where he belonged.  
  
He had been raised to be the Sakurazukamori, but somehow, in that time he was relying on the tree for power, Subaru had undermined that conditioning.  
  
He wondered if they'd really managed to break the chains of destiny, or whether this _was_ their destiny.   
  
Or perhaps destiny would be back to claim its own.  
  


~ To Be Continued ~


	2. Of Gloves and Dates

_Here is chapter two of this far too fluffy Tokyo Babylon "What If...". Meia gets big hugs for providing half of the dialogue used in the Technomancy-inspired glove scene._  
  
**Two: Of Gloves and Dates.**  
  
The day he was due to go home, Subaru met him at the hospital and accompanied him in the taxi. Although he would never have admitted it, he was glad for the company.  
  
"Sei-chan! You're out of the hospital! Congratulations!" exclaimed Hokuto as soon as Subaru opened the door to Seishioru's apartment. She gave him a hug and then stepped back to regard him speculatively. "You're getting thin. You should eat more."  
  
"Hokuto-chan... What are you doing here?" he asked, puzzled.   
  
"I'm the welcoming party. Why, don't you want to see me?" She affected a hurt look.  
  
"I didn't realise you had keys."  
  
Beside him, Subaru blushed. "You gave me yours, remember?" he said, when Seishirou turned to look at him quizzically. "To get clothing."  
  
Oh. "Well, I'm very happy to be out of the hospital as well," he said, not knowing exactly what to say. Together, the three of them made their way to the living room. Hokuto claimed the armchair, leaving Subaru and Seishirou to share the sofa. Seishirou couldn't resist the urge to take Subaru's hand in his own and caress it gently. Subaru turned faintly pink.  
  
"Oh, so _that's_ why you didn't want me here," said Hokuto, in a knowing tone.  
  
"What?" said Seishirou, innocently.  
  
"You wanted to spend some time with Subaru, didn't you?"  
  
Subaru's blush darkened quite considerably. "H-Ho-Hokuto-chan!"  
  
Seishirou just smirked, and put an arm around Subaru's waist.  
  
"Great! Well, I have the perfect gift for the happy couple!"  
  
Seishirou regarded Hokuto, trying not to let his suspicion show. "What's that, Hokuto-chan?"  
  
In answer, Hokuto addressed her brother. "Subaru, can you go and get the envelope off the bench, please?"  
  
Subaru nodded, obediently disentangled himself from Seishirou and fetched the envelope.  
  
"Now, open it."  
  
Subaru did so. "It's... tickets?" he said, squinting at the writing.  
  
"They're tickets to Romeo and Juliet!" shrieked Hokuto, excitedly.  
  
"But... There's only two."  
  
"They're for you and Sei-chan. I'll go later in the week, with one of _my _friends."  
  
"Oh," said Subaru, faintly. "What is it?"  
  
"What _is_ it? It's the greatest love story of all time! And it's just _perfect_ for the two of you!"  
  
"It is?" asked Subaru, looking bewildered.  
  
"_Yes! '_Two clans, both alike in dignity...'"  
  
"I think that's 'houses', Hokuto-chan," said Seishirou, amused.  
  
Hokuto pouted. "You know the play, Seishirou-san?"  
  
He nodded. Actually, he'd first read it to reinforce his identity as harmless, somewhat knowledgeable vet. "And I assure you, Hokuto-chan, I don't intend on our relationship to end the way theirs did."  
  
"Well, of _course_ not! You two are going to go, right?"  
  
Seishirou glanced at Subaru, who nodded. "Thank you, Hokuto-chan."  
  
"Excellent! Now, what about dinner _tonight_? You are planning on letting us stay, right?"  
  
Seishirou blinked. "I just got out of the hospital, Hokuto-chan, my plans for this evening were to sleep."  
  
"Nonsense! You deserve a home cooked meal for your first night! I'll do it, especially for you." She dashed off to the kitchen. Seishirou and Subaru listened to her rummaging around for a good five minutes or so before she spoke again. "SEI-CHAN! You don't have any ingredients!" came her indignant shout.  
  
Seishirou looked slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Well, that's it. I'm going grocery-shopping." She grabbed her bag and stalked off to the door. "You two have fun, okay?"  
  
Subaru blushed. Seishirou just laughed.  
  
After several minutes silence, Subaru looked up, shyly. "I... Do you need anything? I can make tea if you like."  
  
Seishirou smiled at him. "Tea would be very nice, thank you, Subaru-kun."  
  
When the boy returned with twin cups of tea and saucers, it occurred to him that Subaru was still wearing his gloves. "Subaru-kun..." he said, taking the teacup and setting it down on the table. "Do you really still need to wear those?" He indicated the gloves with his free hand.  
  
Subaru plucked at the back of one gloved hand with the other, looking up at Seishirou. "I don't know... It would feel sort of strange without them on," he continued, looking uncomfortable.  
  
"You don't like to touch things, Subaru-kun?" He reached over to take Subaru's gloved hand in his own. Seishirou bent over to kiss the back of the glove gently. "Can you feel that?"  
  
"It's not that, it's just that I..." He let out a little gasp as Seishirou licked the fabric, wetting it slightly.  
  
Seishirou tugged at the glove with his teeth. It didn't move. "Subaru-kun..."   
  
"Yes?" asked Subaru, a little breathily.  
  
"Just take your gloves off, please?"  
  
"But... my grandmother..." whimpered the boy, taking refuge in old excuses.  
  
"The spells are gone, Subaru-kun," he said patiently. "You don't _need_ the gloves anymore."   
  
"But..."   
  
"And they didn't work in the first place. I still knew who you were the moment we met."  
  
"But--"   
  
Seishirou interrupted smoothly. "And don't you miss touching things?" he asked, kissing the back of Subaru's hand again, idly teasing at the fabric with his teeth.   
  
"I was very young." He gasped once more as Seishirou licked at his wrist. "I barely remember..."  
  
"You must take them off sometimes, surely?"   
  
"Only to shower," said Subaru, quietly.  
  
Seishirou took a moment to ponder Subaru in the shower, and then returned his assault on the silky cloth. It felt rather nice, the glove, soft and warm against his skin. He looked up at Subaru with a smile. "Have I convinced you yet?"   
  
"I... You... My grandmother..." Subaru pulled his hand away, attempting to calm himself. "You really think there isn't any need?" he asked, shyly.   
  
"It's really alright, Subaru-kun," he assured the teenager. "I'm not going to hurt you, even if you take your gloves off."   
  
Subaru sat for a moment, staring at his hands, which were currently in his lap. He pulled at the fingers of one of the gloves nervously, and then closed his eyes, muttering a few words under his breath. He slipped the left glove off first, pulling the fabric off with his teeth.   
  
Seishirou smiled at him encouragingly.  
  
Blushing, the Sumeragi boy offered him his right hand. "You... You can take the other off. If you like."   
  
Seishirou ignored the gloved hand for a moment, taking the bare one and kissing a light trail from wrist to palm. "Can you feel this better, now?"  
  
Subaru gasped, sharply, and whipped the hand away. "Seishirou-san! I..."   
  
"Did it hurt?" he asked, concerned. "I'm sorry if it did."   
  
"N-No..." said Subaru, slowly. "It just..." He blushed again, much redder.  
  
Seishirou fought back amusement at the boy's predicament. "I would never hurt you, Subaru-kun," he said, and whispered the few simple syllables required to break the spell on the other glove, tugging the thin fabric off easily.   
  
"I--but--what if... Hokuto-chan should be back soon!" The teenager blurted out, panic written across his face.   
  
"I'm sure your sister wouldn't mind seeing you without your gloves, Subaru-kun."   
  
"It's not the gloves I was worrying about," said Subaru, in a very small voice.   
  
"Oh?" said Seishirou, leaning over so that his face was barely inches from Subaru's. He reached for the boy's hand and let his fingers twine with Subaru's.   
  
The young onmyouji squeaked, pulling back as far as he could without falling off the sofa or releasing their clasped fingers. Subaru's hands were terribly smooth, and Seishirou resisted the urge to kiss along them again.   
  
There was a knock on the door. Seishirou mentally cursed Subaru for being right.  
  
"Subaru? Subaru, my hands are full. Can you open the door for me?"   
  
Subaru got up to open the door, leaving Seishirou to once again mutter at the gods who had given Hokuto-chan her sense of timing.  
  
"Mou, Subaru," said Hokuto, sounding annoyed, "you didn't have to take so long, my arms are achi--" She paused. "Subaru, where are your gloves?"   
  
Seishirou smirked slightly as Subaru undertook the task of explaining what had transpired to his twin.   
  
"So, you got him over one of his hangups, huh?" She said, dumping the bags on the coffee table. "More power to you."   
  
"Hokuto-_chan_!" cried Subaru, indignantly.  
  
"However! You know what this means?"   
  
Subaru looked slightly worried. "Um..."   
  
"Shopping! We have to go shopping to celebrate!"   
  
Subaru looked horrified. Seishirou couldn't help himself any more - he burst out laughing.  
  
Life without the Sakura, he thought, was starting to look interesting.  
  


~ * ~  


  
"So this play is set in Italy, but was written in English and translated to Japanese?" Subaru blinked at him over the top of the programme.  
  
Seishirou nodded.  
  
"That's sort of strange, Seishirou-san."  
  
"It doesn't matter," said Seishirou. "Just enjoy it."  
  
Subaru settled back in his seat. "Okay, Seishirou-san."  
  
The lights dimmed, and the play began. Under the pretence of stretching, Seishirou slipped his arm behind Subaru and around his shoulders. The Sumeragi stiffened. "Relax," murmured Seishirou into his ear. "It's okay." He felt Subaru shiver at the contact of breath against ear.  
  
He couldn't do anything else for a while, though, because Subaru was completely absorbed in the play.  
  
He quite liked Shakespeare, actually. It was suitably tragic and violent for an ex-assassin to appreciate. Unfortunately, on this particular occasion, the boy beside him was far too distracting for him to concentrate on the actors. He spent most of the first half staring absently at Subaru's face, noting the play of emotions across his face as the story of love, murder and rivalry unfolded before him.  
  
Before he knew it, it was the interval. He bought Subaru some chocolates, and enjoyed the blush that ensued as he insisted on feeding the Sumeragi the first few from the box.  
  
"Seishirou-san! People are staring!" whispered Subaru desperately.  
  
"Let them. I love you, and I'm not afraid to show it," said Seishirou, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
Subaru blushed even harder.**  
**  
Unfortunately, his 'playing' was interrupted by the end of the interval, and the start of the second half. He decided the 'yawn and stretch' approach probably wouldn't work a second time, so Seishirou resigned himself to simply gazing at Subaru. The Sumeragi leaned his arm on the chair, and Seishirou took the opportunity to place his own hand on top of Subaru's.  
  
He was somewhat surprised when Subaru absently entwined his fingers with Seishirou's and held his hand tightly.  
  
Next thing he knew, the play was over and the lights were coming back up. Subaru gazed at him, teary-eyed. "It's so sad..."  
  
Seishirou kissed him on the forehead. "Come on. Let's go for a walk before going home, okay?"   
  
They got a few blocks along before he gave in and drew the Sumeragi into a tight hug. "It's only a story, Subaru."  
  
"But... It's not _fair_."  
  
"Hush," said Seishirou, stroking his hair comfortingly.  
  
Subaru opened his mouth to say something else, and Seishirou took the opportunity to kiss him passionately. He had the boy pressed up against the wall and his hands up the back of his shirt before Subaru pushed him away.  
  
"Suba--" began Seishirou, somewhat surprised but ready to apologise.  
  
Subaru wasn't looking at him. "Seishirou-san... isn't that the onmyouji you were fighting?" he said, gazing over Seishirou's shoulder.  
  
"Oh, please," said an unfamiliar voice. "Don't let me interrupt your playing with your little boy toy..."  
  
Seishirou turned. "Oh. It's you."  
  
"I suppose you know why I'm here," said the assassin, smiling evilly.  
  
"The Sakura wants me back, I assume. Dead or alive," said Seishirou, casually. He sensed Subaru stiffen beside him.  
  
"Wrong! I'm here to kill you."  
  
Seishirou stared at him in disbelief  
  
"Seishirou-san? You don't mean..."said Subaru, sounding worried.  
  
"This isn't any of your concern, Subaru-k--"  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S NOT MY CONCERN?!" the Thirteenth Head of the Sumeragi clan protested, loudly.  
  
Seishirou put a hand over his boyfriend's mouth. "So, if you want to kill me, can I have your name first?" He would never have given _his_ name to a victim. Well, except for one victim.  
  
"My real name would mean nothing to you, and anyway, you are about to die. So you can call me... Yami."  
  
'Darkness'? Seishirou stared at him again. He had to be joking. Didn't he? "All right, 'Yami', may I ask if you really understand what you're doing here?"  
  
"I'm here to finish the job I didn't earlier, of course. Yami never leaves a job half-done."  
  
Seishirou took a breath to calm himself. "Right. And how do you expect to do that?"  
  
"I have power. You don't," he said simply, buffing his nails on the lapel of his coat.  
  
"I think you may be underestimating me," said Seishirou, mildly.  
  
The assassin reached into his pocket, bringing out some ofuda and casting something that Seishirou would have been able to handle easily - had he not been so used to leaning on the tree for support and reinforcement for his shielding. As it was, he only had enough to time to push Subaru behind him before it hit him and he staggered backwards.  
  
"What are you _doing_?" exclaimed Subaru, struggling to support him. The Sumeragi knelt down and propped Seishirou up against the wall, all the while keeping a watchful eye on the assassin. Seishirou glowered at his successor.  
  
Subaru produced some ofuda from somewhere within his coat and started to cast a few spells of his own.   
  
The new Sakurazukamori obviously hadn't counted on the Sumeragi being there, because whatever it was that Subaru had cast hurt him enough that he did a bit of staggering of his own before launching a counterattack.  
  
Subaru fended it off easily. Seishirou had to admit he was somewhat impressed. He hadn't seen Subaru in a battle situation before.  
  
"Well," the Sakurazukamori said, with another evil smile. "It seems tonight I must call it a draw. I'll be back." He disappeared in a cloud of swirling sakura petals.  
  
Seishirou groaned.   
  
Subaru cast a few grounding spells, and put a hand to his head. Seishirou knew from experience that the magical backlash would probably begin to hurt badly in about an hour. "Come on, Seishirou-san," said Subaru, helping him to stand. "I think we'd better go home."  
  
Seishirou could only agree.  
  


~ To Be Continued ~  


  
**Notes**  
_I'm really, really unhappy with that last scene. Action really isn't my thing. Suggestions for improvement appreciated.  
And, meet Seishirou's successor. We call him Yami the Pretentious Assassin, for obvious reasons. _


	3. Of Plans and Shops

_Fluff, fluff, fluff... Thanks go to Meia for dialogue assistance (as usual). Vague spoilers for Kakyou's presence in X._  
  
**Three: Of Plans and Shops**  
  
Seishirou spent the next day putting his affairs in order while Subaru was at school. He was somewhat relieved when the twins dropped in to his apartment that afternoon.  
  
"Well? Now I have the both of you here -- How did it go?"  
  
Seishirou and Subaru looked at each other. "Er... Hokuto-chan?"  
  
"Yes? Yes, tell me!"  
  
"SomeonewantstokillSeishirou-sanandwe'regoingtohavetofighthim."  
  
She blinked at them. "Pardon?"  
  
"Someone wants to kill me," clarified Seishirou.  
  
"Oh. So, it didn't go well, then?"  
  
Subaru blushed. "Well... it was okay at first..."  
  
"You wound me, Subaru-kun. I'd like to think I'm a better kisser than--"   
  
"Seishirou-_san_!"   
  
Hokuto laughed at them, gleefully. "So, what's the problem? Between the two of you I'm sure you can fight off _any_ kind of attacker."  
  
Seishirou shrugged, and explained the situation.  
  
She frowned. "So, let me get this straight: You can't kill him, because then you'll become the Sakurazukamori. He can't kill you, because then the Sakura would have all your power and, well, you'd be dead. _Subaru_ can't kill him because he would make a very bad assassin, not to mention not knowing which clan he belongs to as a result. You can't destroy the _tree _because that would upset the balance and have disastrous effects on the future of Japan."  
  
Seishirou nodded.  
  
"And this guy calls himself _Yami_?!" Hokuto collapsed into hysterical giggles.  
  
"Hokuto-_chan_! It's not funny!" admonished Subaru.  
  
Hokuto sobered up. "So, what do we do?"  
  
Subaru gave a miserable shrug.  
  
Hoktuo tapped her finger against the bench in thought. "I have an idea," she announced, after almost driving Seishirou insane with the noise. "I think we could talk to Kakyou."  
  
"Who?" said Subaru, confused.  
  
"A friend of mine. He's a Dreamgazer."  
  
"Oh," said Subaru.   
  
Seishirou regarded Hokuto thoughtfully, but didn't say anything.  
  
"Now, we can't actually go to visit him, because he's confined to a single room and no visitors are allowed. So, we'll have to enter _his_ realm."  
  
"How do we do that?" asked Seishirou, curiously.  
  
"Well, first you have to close your eyes."  
  
"Hokuto-chan, what are you..." began Subaru.   
  
Seishirou leaned around and put his hand over Subaru's eyes, obediently closing his own. "Just indulge her, okay?" he murmured into Subaru's ear, feeling gratified when he felt the Sumeragi shiver at the contact.  
  
"You can open them now!" she announced, after a few moments.  
  
Subaru blinked. "Where are we?" They were in what appeared to be an old fashioned hotel room, with wooden panels and a window that looked out onto the ocean.  
  
"Kyou-chan's dreamscape, of course!"  
  
"...Kyou-chan? Dreamscape?"  
  
"Yes. Now, we have to find some way into his room... Where is the door..." she pressed around on the panelling for a moment. "Aha!" she announced, proudly prodding a knot hole and watching the panelling slide away to reveal another room, this one inhabited by a very beautiful young man with long blond hair.  
  
"Oh," said Kakyou, when Hokuto walked in with Subaru and Seishirou in tow. "It's you."  
  
Hokuto looked hurt for a bit before she realised he was looking at Seishirou.  
  
Seishirou was looking mildly surprised. "Well, this makes things a lot clearer..." he said.  
  
"You two know each other?"  
  
"I spoke to him once," said Kakyou, casually.  
  
"You know, I find it extremely ironic that after all that, the future didn't depend on my decision at all," said Seishirou.  
  
"Only in this universe," said Kakyou, distantly. "In another... who knows what might have happened?"  
  
"Um, excuse me... What are you two talking about?" asked Hokuto, petulantly.  
  
"A dream," said Seishirou. "Just a dream..."  
  
Subaru blinked at them.  
  
"So, we need a council of war, here," said Hokuto, seeming to dismiss the matter. "Kyou-chan, I assume you already know what's going on. You always do. But, we need a plan. How do we convince Yami (the pretentious assassin) not to kill Seishirou-san?"  
  
Kakyou gave them a rueful smile. "It's very hard to change destiny," he said. "You've already managed once." He gave Seishirou a meaningful look. "Destiny won't be willing to be altered again so quickly."  
  
"And if has a way of bouncing back to its proper form. Right, _Yumemi_-san?" said Seishirou. Kakyou refrained from commenting.  
  
"So, you're saying that there's no way we can prevent Seishirou-san from being killed?" said Subaru, distressed.  
  
"There's a chance," admitted Kakyou. He gave Seishirou another significant look. "But you may not like the outcome," he added, almost as an afterthought.  
  
"If Seishirou-san lives, I'll be happy," said Subaru, fervently.  
  
Seishirou smiled slightly, and gave the boy a hug. "I don't want me to die either, Subaru-kun."  
  
Hokuto glanced at them. "So, what do we do?"  
  
"We could trying reasoning with him," ventured Subaru.  
  
The others stared at him.  
  
"Well, we're not going to let him kill Seishirou-san," said Subaru, defensively. "So he's only going to get himself hurt if he tries."  
  
Hokuto looked thoughtful. "So, what you're saying is that we should threaten him a bit?"  
  
"No!" squeaked Subaru. "That's not what I meant!"  
  
"It could work, though," shot back Hokuto.  
  
"It might work," interrupted Kakyou, gazing at the twins in a somewhat bemused manner. "But don't count on it."  
  
Hokuto groaned. "You're so fatalistic, Kyou-chan."   
  
"Ah! It's so late!" exclaimed Subaru suddenly, looking at the clock. "I have homework to do and a job as well!"  
  
Hokuto gave her brother an exasperated look. "Okay, okay. We'll be back tomorrow evening, okay, Kyou-chan?"  
  
Kakyou nodded. The twins left, Subaru frantically apologising for cutting their visit so short.   
  
Seishirou decided to hang back for a moment. He was extremely curious about the dreamgazer. "You know how this is all going to end, don't you?" he said, rhetorically.  
  
Kakyou nodded. He regarded Seishirou with a firm, somewhat curious gaze. "I want you to think about this for a moment, Sakurazuka-san. Will you be able to live without him?"  
  
Seishirou gave him a searching look, wondering what future the dreamgazer saw for him and his adorable Subaru-kun. "Well," he said, eventually. "We'll just have to see."  
  


~ * ~  


  
It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Tokyo and the twins were 'helping out' in the Sakurazuka veterinary clinic as usual. Suddenly, out of the blue, Hokuto stood up, putting her hands on her hips. "I have an announcement to make."  
  
"Yes, Hokuto-chan?" asked Seashore, washing his hands in the basin.  
  
"This afternoon, you're both completely free, right?"  
  
Subaru and Seishirou nodded.  
  
"Right. We're going shopping."  
  
Subaru went white, then red in a kind of horror. "No, _'neesan_, please..."  
  
"Hokuto-chan, why exactly are we going shopping?" asked Seishirou, mildly amused by Subaru's reaction.  
  
"Because you need _clothes_, that's why, and it would be a great chance to unwind. Now that you're actually _going out_, a whole new wardrobe is required. And I just can't trust you two to pick the right things on your own," she said, in a matter of fact manner.  
  
"H-H-Hokuto-chan..."  
  
Seishirou glanced at Subaru, then at his sister. "Do I get to help?" he asked, curiously.  
  
"Well, of _course_ you do. It wouldn't be much good if we got outfits you hated, would it?" said Hokuto, logically.  
  
He wrapped his arms around Subaru's waist and rested his head on the boy's shoulder, causing him to turn bright red. "No, I suppose it wouldn't."  
  
"So, where would be a good place?"  
  
Seishirou smiled. "I know some nice stores in town and I'm sure you do, too." He untangled himself from Subaru and started closing up the clinic. "I'm free now, why don't we make it a lunch date as well?"  
  
Hokuto clapped her hands. "I think it's a great idea."  
  
Lunch was a rather charming affair in a little café above a department store. Subaru spent most of it giving the clothes racks to the left vaguely worried looks.  
  
The very second after the bill was paid, Hokuto dragged her brother off in the direction of the men's clothing. Seishirou followed at a more sedate pace, amused.  
  
She had already been through three different outfits by the time he reached them, each one causing Subaru to blush redder than before. "Ne, Sei-chan, how about this?" she asked, holding up a somewhat revealing shirt of black silk.  
  
Subaru looked like he was about to keel over on the spot.   
  
"I think it looks... interesting," said Seishirou, diplomatically.  
  
"And these to go with it!" announced the girl, holding up a pair of tight green velvet pants and dragging her brother off in the direction of the change rooms.  
  
About five minutes later, Subaru emerged, scarlet. "It's a bit... tight," he said miserably, pulling at the sleeves.  
  
"Mo~u, Subaru, that's the _point_."  
  
Subaru gave Seishirou a somewhat desperate look.  
  
Seishirou decided to come to his rescue. "Keep the pants, Hokuto-chan, but why don't we find him a looser shirt..."  
  
Subaru gave the tight pants he was wearing a slightly disturbed look. His sister bounced off, muttering to herself about what colours suited her brother and what styles were in fashion.  
  
"Um, Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, sounding slightly nervous.   
  
"Yes?" he asked, coming to sit behind him on the change room's tiny bench.  
  
"You know how I told you I'd done a lot of growing up before...?"   
  
"Yes?" Seishirou said, curious as to where this was going.  
  
"Well, I've decided I'm not going to put up with this any more," said Subaru, sounding uncharacteristically offended.   
  
He blinked.  
  
"I-I-If you l-love me, you just have to tell me. You don't have to t-tease me about it. I don't like this."  
  
"Subaru..." he began. Inwardly, he was annoyed at himself. It had never occurred to him before that their 'harmless' teasing might hurt the boy so much. He tried again. "I'm sorry, Subaru-kun."  
  
Subaru was silent for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around Seishirou's waist in a tight hug. "Thank you," he sighed. "That's all I wanted to know."  
  
"But I'm not lying, you know," Seishirou added, unable to stop himself. "I really do think you're beautiful."  
  
Subaru blushed cutely.  
  
"And those pants _do_ look good on you."  
  
"Seishirou-_san_!" he exclaimed.  
  
"I'm not teasing. It's the simple truth." He stood up and leant over the Sumeragi, amused that Subaru was already closing his eyes in anticipation of a kiss.   
  
"SUBARU!" came a horribly familiar voice. "SEI-CHAN! Come here! I found this shirt I think you'll _really _like!"  
  
Seishirou took a breath to calm himself. Murdering Subaru's only sister wouldn't make him look good at all.  
  
After about an hour, Hokuto was finally satisfied with her purchases and Subaru had an almost entirely new wardrobe, despite the boy looking the whole time like the ordeal couldn't end soon enough.  
  
"So, where shall we go now?" asked the more hyperactive Sumeragi twin.  
  
Subaru gave his companions a hopeful look. "Icecream?"  
  
Tempting as it was, Seishirou didn't really feel like it. "Not icecream... How about crépes?"  
  
"With chocolate mousse and melted marshmallows?" asked Hokuto, excitedly. "I know this great place in the park..."   
  
Subaru blinked. "That sounds messy."  
  
His sister just smiled enigmatically. "You'd be surprised."  
  
They bought their crépes from a vendor in the park and made their way to a secluded grove of sakura to eat them.  
  
After about five minutes of watching Subaru lick marshmallow off his fingers, Seishirou was beginning to feel the ice cream would have been a better option. Just as he began to feel he could bring himself to forget about Hokuto altogether, the girl jumped up and announced she was going to find a tap because it just wasn't _ladylike_ to lick her fingers like her brother was doing.  
  
Seishirou waited a good thirty seconds before turning back to Subaru. "Subaru-kun..." he began, smiling slightly.   
  
Subaru blinked at him, fingertip still a little inside his mouth.   
  
Seishirou pulled the hand away gently and replaced it with his own lips.  
  
All in all, he reflected, it was the perfect end to an altogether enjoyable shopping trip.  
  
He hadn't thought it possible for life to be this good. He wanted it to be like this forever.  


  
~ To Be Continued ~  
  


_In the next part, things lose their fluffy edge for a bit._  
  
**Notes**  
_Yumemi - Dreamgazer, what Kakyou is  
Neesan - Older sister  
Crépes With Chocolate Mousse and Melted Marshmallow - What I had in Fremantle when Meia came here._


	4. Of Death and Desperation

_Big hugs go to Meia for providing dialogue and other input, as always; to everyone that pre-read this scene; and to Kouri for last-minute assistance.  
  
Warnings: Um, assassins doing what assassins do. Blood and stuff. Gratuitous speculation on the nature of the Sakurazukamori's relationship with his tree._  
  
**Four: Of Death and Desperation**  
  
They were walking in Ueno park the second and last time they met Yami.  
  
He appeared seemingly out of nowhere, as assassins do, and grabbed Subaru by the throat. The younger onmyouji struggled weakly.   
  
"What are you doing with him?" asked Seishirou, hiding his anger under a mask of indifference. "I thought it was me you were after."  
  
"I am," said Yami, visibly tightening his grip. "But don't they always say, it's easier to get someone through the people they love?"  
  
Seishirou wanted to break something -- preferably something attached to Yami. That was _not_ the way the Sakurazukamori did it. The Sakurazukamori were all about simple, beautiful, _necessary_ death. Loved ones simply didn't factor in the equation.  
  
"Let him go," said Seishirou, somehow managing to stay calm on the outside.  
  
"Will you be willing to die if I do?"  
  
Seishirou glanced at Subaru, who was still struggling. "Yes," he said simply. "You can't kill me if you don't put him down. Believe me, I know," he added.  
  
Subaru's eyes flashed shock and hurt as he was brutally dropped to the ground. "Seishirou-san! You can't mean..." he gasped, hoarsely.  
  
Seishirou ignored him. "So, it comes down to this, does it?"  
  
Yami smirked. "I'm glad you're willing to be reasonable," he said, readying a spell.  
  
Seishirou smiled slightly, a hunter's smile, took a step forward and calmly thrust his hand through the Sakurazukamori's chest.  
  
There was total silence in the park.  
  
"Seishirou-san," breathed the Sumeragi, horrified.  
  
Seishirou lay the body on the ground beneath the Sakura. Petals began to swirl around him. He could feel the tree's smug triumph in the back of his mind. In moves that felt as natural to him as breathing, he secured some of its power and transferred the ex-assassin's energy and soul to the tree.   
  
When he returned to himself, he found himself attacked by accusing green eyes.  
  
"... You killed him," said Subaru, flatly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You _killed_ him."  
  
"I'm sorry, Subaru-kun," he said, although to him it seemed his actions were the only logical ones.  
  
"You..." A few tears slipped gently over the boy's cheeks.  
  
"It was either him or you," said Seishirou, gently brushing the tears away with his thumb.  
  
Subaru pulled away. "I can take care of myself, Seishirou-san!"  
  
"Can you?" asked Seishirou, frowning.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Then, why weren't you? I thought he was going to kill you."  
  
"I thought you were going to try to convince him to leave us alone!"  
  
"Some people just can't, or won't, be convinced, Subaru-kun. That's another of the things I know."   
  
"You didn't have to kill him!" cried Subaru.  
  
"Subaru-kun, I was raised to be an assassin."  
  
Subaru gave him a wounded look.  
  
"That doesn't mean I wanted to be. But, sometimes, instinct just takes over. And he was about to hurt something of mine."  
  
"Some..._thing_?" said Subaru, in a very small voice.  
  
Seishirou looked uncomfortable.  
  
"I'm not a thing, Seishirou-san. I'm a _person,_" continued Subaru, gaining volume. "I'm a person, and I love _you_, but... but..."  
  
"Yes...?" said Seishirou, beginning to get a vague sense of foreboding.   
  
_Will you be able to live without him?  
_  
"But you don't love _me_."  
  
"Subaru, I've told you before that I do lo--"  
  
"No. You don't. Not until you can see me as a person and not your possession." Seishirou stared at the Sumeragi as the boy calmly turned his back on him.   
  
"Subaru-kun, really, don't you think you're being a little overdramatic?"  
  
Subaru spun, eyes flashing anger. "No. I don't. And don't expect me to talk to you again unless you love me, Sakurazukamori."  
  
The Sumeragi fled. Just like that, and he was gone.  
  
Seishirou flopped to his knees, surrounded by Sakura petals. He could still feel the tree's satisfaction in the back of his mind, and that made it worse.  
  
Made what worse? he wondered. He picked up one of the petals, drawing it softly across his palm.  
  
Losing Subaru.  
  


~ * ~  
  


Seishirou dreamt...  


  


"How can I love him? How can I love the Sakurazukamori?" wept Subaru, into his sister's arms.  
  
She stroked his hair gently. "The answer to that is simple: you don't."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Who do you love? The Sakurazukamori, or Sakurazuka Seishirou, vetenarian?"  
  
"S-Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, hesitantly. "But Seishirou-san is the Sakurazukamori."  
  
"Is he? You've seen him in Sakurazukamori mode. Does he act like that around you?"  
  
"Well, no... But he kills people!"  
  
"From what I know of the Sakurazukamori, it should only be people that would threaten the future of Japan, ne?"  
  
"But..."  
  
"That part, you'll have to talk over with Seishirou-san. But I want you to know that I approve, and I won't care that he's the Sakurazukamori as long as he never harms you."  
  
"But, grandmother..."  
  
"Doesn't. Have. To. Know."  
  
Seishirou woke, with the oddest feeling of déjà vu. He decided he wasn't going to get any more sleep that night, and got up to fix himself a cup of coffee.  
  
He pondered his 'dream'. He wondered if it was a reflection of reality, or just another of the Dreamgazer's warped visions.  
  
"I felt something for him _before_," he said out loud. "He wasn't just a thing to me then, in that time when..."  
  
He paused, as something occurred to him. He dumped his coffee in the sink, grabbed his trenchcoat and made his way to Ueno Park as quickly as possible.  
  
The Sakura stood tall and innocent, in magnificent moonlit splendour. Petals rained down around it, disturbed by the soft breeze that shook the branches. Seishirou wasn't in the mood to appreciate the image.  
  
"Release it," he said.  
  
The tree was silent.  
  
"Release my heart. I know you took it," he repeated, firmly.  
  
The tree's response was inaudible, but definitely negative.  
  
"Release it, or I'll take my _own_ life." Part of him was screaming at him for doing such a stupid thing. The rest of telling him, no, this was right. This was the way things should be.  
  
The tree panicked momentarily and then acquiesced, grudgingly.  
  
He was expecting something like a flood of emotion. He wasn't expecting the dull ache he'd attributed to missing Subaru to simple increase tenfold.  
  
Well, now it was obvious what had to be done. He had to find some way to set things right with the Sumeragi.  
  
The tree was muttering dark things in the back of his mind, and he shut off the link effortlessly. "I'll deal with _you_ later," he told it.  
  


~ * ~  
  


He was woken the next morning by a loud knocking on his front door. Groaning, he got up, dressed quickly, and opened it.  
  
Sumeragi Hokuto stormed into Seishirou's apartment, glaring at him. "Sei-chan, _where_ have you been?" she demanded.  
  
He blinked at her. "At home? Working?"  
  
"But you haven't been at Subaru's!"  
  
"Hokuto-chan, he doesn't want to see me," he explained, patiently.  
  
"_Sei-chan no baka_. I am sick and tired of him moping around because he thinks you don't love him."  
  
"Well... What if I don't?" he said, gesturing for her to sit down.  
  
She glared at him harder. "Sakurazukamori Seishirou, tell me this once and for all: Do you love my brother?"  
  
He thought for a moment. "Yes."  
  
"As a person?"  
  
"... Yes."  
  
"More than anyone else?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Have you been miserable all this time you haven't seen him?"  
  
Here he hesitated. "Most of it," he admitted, after a while.  
  
"Excellent! Now, go tell him that," said Hokuto, clapping her hands brightly.  
  
"But"  
  
"I told you to make him _happy_. Remember?" she said, putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head to one side.  
  
"But... how do I know? If what I'm feeling is really love, that is."  
  
"More to the point, how will _he_ know that you love him?"  
  
Seishirou blinked at her.  
  
"There's a reason he's Head and I'm not, you know. It's because Subaru has the Sumeragi 'mentality', so to speak. He's absolutely devoted to his work and its cause. That's why he's being so stubborn about you.  
  
"But, you and I are the same, Sei-chan. Well, aside from the cold-blooded killer aspect... And the you being male and me being female... And you being much older... But anyway. We're both pragmatic and very protective of the ones we love.  
  
"So, what I'm _saying_ is that if someone was threatening Subaru, I would have done exactly the same thing as you did."  
  
"But Subaru's not like that," said Seishirou. "And _how_, Hokuto-chan, am I expected to convince him that it's _okay_ to love the Sakurazukamori?"  
  
"Just confront him with it," she said with a shrug.  
  
He paused for effect. "How will that help?"  
  
Hokuto gave him a patient look. "He really is in love with you. He'd find it hard to turn you down to your face."  
  
"He didn't have any trouble turning me down before," he snapped back, stung.  
  
"He was hurt. He does silly things and says things he doesn't really mean when he's hurt. I'll bet you didn't know he spent that entire night sobbing, did you? He felt betrayed and he was certain that you'd been lying to him the entire time about how you felt."  
  
"That's not true," said Seishirou, firmly.  
  
"See, that's my point. You should be telling _him_ all this."  
  
"So... you really think he'd welcome me back?" he said, uncertainly.  
  
"If you really do love him? I think he'd be more than just happy."  
  
He thought about that for a moment, and then gathered her close for a hug. "Thank you."  
  
She laughed gaily, and skipped towards the door.  
  
"Off to see that boyfriend of yours?" he teased, as she was heading out.  
  
Hokuto blushed as red as Subaru did, and didn't deign to answer.  


  
~ * ~  


  
Seishirou woke with the oddest feeling that something was very wrong, somewhere. It took him a moment to isolate the cause.  
  
The Tree was sulking.  
  
He got out of bed, dressed, and caught a taxi to Ueno Park. He gave the Tree his best Look, and folded his arms. "It's not like I'm just going to abandon you."  
  
The Tree was hungry. And Seishirou wasn't feeding it. The Tree was not happy.  
  
He groaned. "Fine. Find me someone that deserves to die and I'll feed you." What a cliché, he thought. Like those books about vampires that only take the evildoers.  
  
The Tree continued to sulk, ignoring him.  
  
In the end, he didn't need its help to find an appropriate victim. They found him, knife in hand with a demand for money in a low voice.  
  
The death was easy. Death was always easy. At least that hadn't changed. But the soul... That was different. The thought of consigning his soul to the Tree left him feeling slightly ill. After several moments consideration, he found he had to release it to whatever the fates had in store for it.  
  
The Tree had a fit of desperation. In an attempt to appease it, he buried the body underneath and gave the Tree a gift of half the power released by the death.  
  
He felt its pleasure, as it dug its roots into the body and fed off the blood, with a certain amount of amusement. "Just giving the soul was easier, was it?" he asked. "How long has it been since you had a _body _to feed on?"  
  
The Tree was satisfied. And it wasn't mad at him any more.  
  
After first checking no one else was around, he hugged it briefly around the trunk. "Don't worry. I'm not going to abandon you as long as we start working _together_. I'm not your master, and you're not mine. Okay?"  
  
The Tree gave him an afirmative reponse.  
  
He patted it lightly on the trunk, and turned to go. The first signs of dawn were beginning to show in the sky.  
  
Seishirou almost fell over when he realised the feeling he was getting _now_ from the Tree was well-wishing and encouragement to fix things up. With Subaru, he presumed.  
  
The Tree had given him its blessing.  
  
He found himself feeling inordinately happy.  
  


~ * ~  


  
**Random notes:**  
_Sei-chan no baka - "Sei-chan is an idiot". Or something to that effect.  
Tree-hugger!Seishirou sort of sneaked up on me, and once I'd written it the thought was too amusing to get rid of. I mentioned my inability to write action before, right? I thought the anticlimatic death worked quite well, but that could be because I really had trouble making it any more dramatic. And, yeah, Subaru is over-reacting a bit. _


	5. Of Love, Loving and Being Loved

_Well, here's the final part of Awakening, plus one very short epilogue and another longer epilogue. Enjoy.   
  
Notes: Fluff and all that. Big hugs go to Meia for dialogue help (I should give her co-author status, really.)_  
  
**Five: Of Love, Loving, and being Loved**  
  
It was just Seishirou's luck that the very day he decided to talk to Subaru, a storm broke. By the time he found his way to Subaru's apartment building, he was soaked to the bone.  
  
Dripping, he knocked on Subaru's door.  
  
A minute later, the Sumeragi opened it, dressed as if to go out, completely with _that_ hat. His expression registered first surprise, then anger. "Seishirou-san, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I love you," said Seishirou.  
  
Subaru gave him a silently disbelieving look.  
  
"I don't know how to prove it, not so you'll believe it... All you have to go by is what I say, and heaven knows I've lied to you enough. But, I love you. And that's the truth."  
  
"S-Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, very quietly.  
  
"And... if you don't want me, I'll go, and you'll never have to see me again."  
  
Subaru was silent. Seishirou reached out and tilted the boy's chin up gently to look into his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't see anything but blank disbelief. Seishirou sighed. "I'm sorry, Subaru-kun. I'll go now."  
  
He was nearly to the stairs when he heard the stuttering voice behind him. "S-Seishirou-san! Wait!"  
  
"Yes?" he asked, not turning around.  
  
Subaru paused, twisting his ridiculous hat in his hands nervously, not meeting Seishirou's gaze. "I -- I _do_ believe you. I think. At least, I don't want you to go..."  
  
Seishirou gave him a long look.  
  
"Let's just go inside and talk, okay?" said Subaru, blushing slightly.   
  
Seishirou nodded. Subaru walked him to his door and followed him inside. "Although, perhaps you might want to get changed first?" asked Subaru, ever the gracious host.  
  
Seishirou had almost forgotten that he was still dripping wet. "Thank you, Subaru-kun," he said, accepting the towel Subaru pushed his way and making his way to the bathroom.  
  
The water was comfortably warm, for which he was grateful. It was _cold_ standing out in the hallway in wet clothes.  
  
It wasn't until he got out that he realised he didn't have anything to get changed into. All his outer clothing was definitely not wearable. Shrugging, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went out to meet his fate.  
  
Subaru was in the kitchen, making tea. Even from the doorway, Seishirou could see he was trembling -- not _too_ noticeably, but enough that Seishirou was reluctant to trust him with anything involving boiling water.   
  
Turning and seeing Seishirou, Subaru turned a vivid red and almost dropped the kettle. "Seishirou-san! I have clothing, if you want to..."  
  
Seishirou gently took the kettle off him. "I don't think you have anything I'd fit into, Subaru-kun."  
  
"But... aren't you cold?"  
  
"You have central heating," said Seishirou, shrugging. "I'll be fine. Now, stand back and let me finish this tea, okay?"  
  
Ignoring Subaru's protests, he efficiently finished the job, without even spilling a drop of water.  
  
"Seishirou-san..." said Subaru, when they were sitting at the table.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Would you really have left?"  
  
"Mm." Seishirou nodded, taking a sip of his tea. "If you didn't want me."  
  
"What would you have done?" asked Subaru, curiously.  
  
He shrugged. "I would have just gone, I guess. Moved out, found another job..."   
  
Subaru's next question surprised him. "Why?"  
  
Seishirou hesitated. "Because... " Because I'd rather you be happy without me than unhappy with me, he thought. But he couldn't tell Subaru _that_. Not yet. "Because... it was you asking me to go," he said eventually.  
  
Subaru gave him another one of those disbelieving looks that seemed so different to the Subaru that Seishirou knew. "Why does it matter to you, anyway?"  
  
"Because... I love you." The words felt odd on his lips.  
  
"You're the Sakurazukamori! You aren't capable of love! You told me so yourself!" yelled Subaru, leaning forward across the table.  
  
"I had some words with the Tree," said Seishirou, uncomfortably.  
  
"You... what?" said Subaru, in a small voice.  
  
"I had a little talk with the Sakura," he repeated. "I wasn't happy with some of the things it was doing."  
  
Subaru looked puzzled. "So... you're not the Sakurazukamori any more?"  
  
Seishirou frowned. "I can't just STOP being the Sakurazukamori. The balance has to stay. But..."  
  
"But...?"  
  
"But I don't have to be heartless."  
  
Subaru looked like he was going to protest again.   
  
"You loved me, didn't you?" said Seishirou, before Subaru could speak.  
  
The Sumeragi blinked at him. "Y-yes..." he said, honestly. "But..."  
  
"Because of that, you've changed me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You taught me... lots of things. The Tree can't take that away from me," said Seishirou, earnestly.  
  
"But you have to kill people!" cried Subaru.  
  
"I save people, too... And I assure you, I only kill those people that deserve it."  
  
"And feed their souls to your tree."   
  
"I'm not going to do that anymore. You've made that impossible."  
  
"I'm sor-"   
  
Seishirou put a hand over his mouth. "Don't apologise for _that_."  
  
Subaru gave him a _look_ when he removed his hand. "So, if all that's true, what are you going to do about your successor?"  
  
He paused. 'Allow someone else to kill me' wasn't really the response Subaru would like. "Well... It isn't as though I'm going to be killed again _so_ soon... I expect I'll be able to work something out."  
  
Subaru continued giving him that flat stare. "Seishirou-san, I told you that I've been doing a lot of growing up. I _know_ when someone's blatantly lying to me, now..."  
  
Seishirou winced inwardly. "Well, I suppose eventually someone is going to have to kill me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I have no idea. I don't have any children, myself."  
  
"Seishirou-san! That's horrible!" said Subaru, once he figured out Seishirou's meaning.  
  
"It was supposed to be you," Seishirou added, very quietly.  
  
Subaru looked confused.  
  
"Because you're the one that I love, you're the one that was supposed to kill me..."  
  
The silence stretched between them, uncomfortable and strained. Seishirou was beginning to regret admitting it, now.  
  
"That doesn't make sense," said Subaru, finally. "You told me you _couldn't_ love."  
  
"It's a spell the Tree binds to the Sakurazukamori. It was weakening. The moment it completely dissolved on its own would have been the moment of my death. Therefore, after I died, I had my heart back."  
  
"But then after you killed Yami..."  
  
"I knew what feeling was like. I wanted my heart _back_, and the tree... had no choice but to agree. And besides..." He paused for effect. "I missed you." Seishirou was almost surprised to find that that was the truth.  
  
Subaru looked like he was about to cry.  
  
"Seishirou-san, I..."  
  
"Do you still love me, Subaru-kun? _Can_ you still love me?"  
  
Subaru laughed, tearfully. "I don't think I can stop. God knows I've tried..."  
  
He brushed Subaru's tears away again, a repeat of his earlier action -- and this time, Subaru let him continue uninterrupted.   
  
He didn't even protest the kiss.   
  
"Kakyou-san asked me once if I could live without you. _He_ knew what was going to happen," said Seishioru, when they broke apart.  
  
"And...?"  
  
"He was right. I couldn't."  
  
He was almost amused to see the tears spring to Subaru's eyes. Even after all this time, he was still just a sensitive young boy.  
  
"I couldn't bear to lose you," sobbed Subaru. "When I told you to never come back... it almost killed me." His tears were falling freely now.  
  
Seishirou bent down to gently lick them away, expecting Subaru to blush adorably and pull back. He was therefore surprised when the Sumeragi only stiffened and let out a small gasp, turning faintly pink.  
  
So, maybe one thing had changed.  
  
Seishirou very gently led the boy in the direction of the bedroom. Once there, in front of the bed, he let the towel drop. Predictably, Subaru turned strawberry.  
  
They made love for the first time on Subaru's bed, wrapped up in soft comforters with the rain still pouring down outside.  
  
Subaru cried a lot, but they were healing tears - the tears of a broken heart that has finally found its other half.  
  
They slept.  
  


~ END ~


	6. Epilogues

_And now, all the tying up of loose ends._  
  
**Epilogue  
**  
He made a point of seeing Kakyou the next day. Something was bothering him.   
  
The boy raised his eyebrows at him expectantly as he walked in. "You're wondering about 1999, right?"  
  
He nodded. "Just... what happens, now?"  
  
Kakyou looked dreamy. "Fate gives a boy a choice. And whatever he decides... will be what happens."  
  
END  
  
_Finally, because I was wondering about how that would work in 1999, a second epilogue. If you haven't read my fic Yume, this might be a bit confusing._  
  
**Epilogue 2: 1999**  
  
"So, he says that he'll be in to take the dog home on Friday," finished Seishirou.  
  
"Oh, that's good," said Subaru, squeezing the other man's hand. "I'm glad the story has a happy ending."  
  
Seishirou laughed. "I'm a talented vet, Subaru-kun. I don't let my patients just die on me."  
  
Subaru hit him on the shoulder lightly, but the smile was worth it.  
  
"So, how was your... job... today..." He trailed off, as something caught his eye.  
  
"Seishirou-san?"  
  
Seishirou dropped Subaru's hand and marched over to the boy sitting on the park bench, innocently eating pocky. "Your name is Kamui, isn't it?" he asked, staring down at the boy.  
  
The boy jumped and he looked up with wide, startled eyes. Like a deer, thought Seishirou, somewhat amused. Doe-eyed, if does had violet eyes. "I... How..." He took a moment to gather his wits. "That's my name. But I don't think we've met, have we...?"  
  
Seishirou gave him a speculative look. "Not in this world," he said, finally.  
  
He felt Subaru walk up behind him. "Seishirou-san?" Seishirou gave him a reassuring look - coupled with a definite request for silence.  
  
"Tell me, Kamui-kun," continued Seishirou, "do you know a man named Kakyou?"  
  
"The dream seer?" said Kamui, startled. "I've met him once. Is he a friend of yours?"  
  
"He's married to my sister," ventured Subaru. "But I don't know how that... Seishirou-san, what's going on?"  
  
"I dreamt of this boy," muttered Seishirou. "A long time ago."  
  
"Me?" said Kamui, startled.  
  
"He is Kamui. He is the one with the Choice."  
  
Kamui gaped. "How did you know that?" he demanded.  
  
Seishirou waved his hand in the air. "Irrelevant."  
  
Subaru gave him a disapproving look and turned his attention back to the boy. "He knows because he was destined to be involved. As was I."  
  
Kamui blinked at them. "You are...?"  
  
"Sumeragi Subaru. 13th Head of the Sumeragi Clan," said Subaru, bowing quickly.  
  
"A Seal," said Kamui, quietly.  
  
"Sakurazuka Seishirou," added Seishirou. "The Sakurazukamori."  
  
"Angel," commented Kamui.   
  
"Will there be war?" asked Seishirou.  
  
Kamui shook his head. "I'm just supposed to make the decision, that's all."  
  
"It doesn't strike me as easy," ventured Seishirou, "to decide whether humanity is worth saving. Myself, I would say it wasn't. Look what humanity has done to this earth? She is dying, all around us."  
  
Subaru looked vaguely distressed. "But... We're not all like that, Seishirou-san. Some of us wish to heal the Earth."  
  
"So, do _you_ think I should save the world? Or not?" asked the boy, folding his arms.  
  
Seishirou and Subaru looked at each other. "Is that really what you want to talk about?" asked Subaru, curiously.  
  
"It's all anyone wants to talk about with me..." said Kamui, bitterly.  
  
"Well," said Seishirou, "obviously we'll have to do something about that."   
  
Kamui blinked. "What...?"   
  
"Ice cream." Seishirou felt Subaru stumble behind him, and held back laughter. "Come on. Let discussions about the fate of the world wait for another day."  
  
Kamui looked somewhat disturbed. Obviously the idea of hanging out at an icecream parlour was well outside his realm of comphrehension.  
  
"The best way to beat Destiny, Kamui-kun, is to not let it control you. Now, let's go have fun, shall we?"  
  
THE END  



End file.
